Goodbye, friend.
I wrote about my friend last week and trying to decide what I should do about the difficult situation. I appreciate all the advice and encouragement, it really helps. Really.
I had thought about calling child services before, but several things have stopped me. Because of my friend’s nationality if the children were to be taken away, they would go to family first and her family is no better than she is when it comes to raising children. The lifestyle that my friend is living is the stereotypical lifestyle for her nationality, which is just a pathetic excuse, in my opinion. The reason the children would go to family first would be for cultural reasons.
Which I can somewhat understand. But I still don’t agree with it.
I have thought about talking to the school. But as sad as this sounds, these are probably just two of several children who are living this way.
But that doesn’t justify any of it or make it right.
I talked to my friend. I told her that what she is doing is wrong. I told her that her children should come first, before anyone and anything. I explained that most 5 year old children don’t even understand the concept of death, and most especially should not know what suicide means!
I was angry when I voiced everything to her. I apologized for being angry and I tried to explain that I loved her and her children and I hate seeing them hurting.
I also explained that I couldn’t just sit around and watch as the children suffer. All she had to say in return was that it was hard being a single parent. She said that it’s hard because when she wants to go out for even just a couple hours, there is no one around to watch them (I should mention that the kids go to their fathers house every single weekend. That’s 2 free days she has to herself).
I understand it’s hard, but her only complaint is that she doesn’t get to go out? Well, my dear, things could be much worse.
The last thing I said to her was, “I don’t know if I can continue this friendship” and all she said to me was, “I understand. Take care.”
Really.
I understand, take care???
22 years of a friendship and that’s all you say to me!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It hurt at first, because I couldn’t believe someone I considered a good friend would respond like that. But should it really surprise me? Not really.
I still worry about those kids. And I still don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I know I need to do something, before something happens to them.
Lillie on March 2nd, 2010
You are definitely in a awkward position, but in my opinion, some type of intervention has to take place for the children to have a fighting chance. I read the story about the five-year-old standing in the street yelling that he wanted to die. Someone that young should not be finding life that difficult to cope with. It’s heartbreaking.